Mothers,
Happy fall! I have to admit; I am a little sad to see summer go. It’s been a very wet summer for us on the east coast, and we didn’t get to enjoy the heat as much as we usually do.
The rain wasn’t the only element that made this summer very different for me. In February, I took a leap of faith that I believed God was calling me to. I quit my director level, corporate job and began my own business. I still do what I have always done, but now, for a variety of clients who support my own business.
The transition has not been smooth the entire journey. It’s honestly been frightening. For the first time since my divorce, I have no clue, absolutely zero insight as to what tomorrow holds. I wake up daily with my heart beating outside of my chest and this lump in my throat that refusing to settle. In the midst of it all, I have to remind myself that even though I don’t know about tomorrow, I know who holds my hands.
In August, I wrapped up with one of my biggest clients and enter into the zone of needing another one to make ends meet. Literally, a week after that contract closed, my house began falling apart. My dishwasher, my refrigerator, my microwave, my patio door, and my toilet all decided to break in one way or another. Then a letter came from my bank – my mortgage is increasing. Soon after, another letter in regards to my school loans – my monthly payments are increasing.
It has been hitting me from all directions and I find myself fighting every second from entering panic mode.
Niomi discovered the toilet and when I saw water gushing like a silent stream from it, I dropped to the floor and began questioning my heavenly Father. Similar to John the Baptist, I found myself in a moment of pondering God’s power, “Are you the Expected One?”
“Are you the One whom I serve? The One that opens blinded eyes, parts seas, move mountains, causes fire to rain down from the sky, and breaths life into the dead. Are you the One?”
Two days later Niomi returns home from a visit with dad. She pulls out a sandwich bag filled with coins. “This is for you mommy,” Niomi smiles as she hands me the bag. “What is it?” I asked.
She answers with pride and love written all over her face, “It’s from my piggy bank at daddy’s house. I took it out for you so you could fix all the things that are broken in the house. I even prayed for you with daddy because I am worried about you.”
After investigating, I learned that Niomi took the money without her dad’s knowledge, pulled out a sandwich bag, and wrote mom with a marker on it. I have told her a number of times that because she didn’t ask her dad, she should put the money back and have reassured her that I will be fine. Each time is met with refusal. Niomi continues to bring the baggie home. “I want you to be happy,” she says.
I realized through this act, that the same holds true for my Daddy. My little girl’s love is so apparent in this small act and I can hear Him reminded me that His love is bigger still. If Niomi is so determined to see the best for me, how much more is my Savior?
He has a baggie of provision for me. My name is written upon it with permanent marker and it belongs to me. A gift from my Daddy. Just wait and see!
Guess what? The same is true for you.
Sincerely,
Nona A. Phinn
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